25 Relatable Millennial Tweets for Women Raised on 2000s Sarcasm

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  • 01
    The best part of being an adult is eating as many cookies as you want. The worst part of being an adult is eating as many cookies as you want.
  • 02
    randy @randypaint the early bird get the worm but the late bird just gets a slightly worse worm. there's worms everywhere. who cares. sleep late. do not let the worms dictate ur lifestyle
  • 03
    anpigeon @imskytrash *licks finger and lifts it to the wind* a panic attack is coming
  • 04
    Emily Murnane @emily_murnane I just think it's messed up that couch sleepy never directly translates to bed. sleepy
  • 05
    Sunshine Jarboly @Sunshine Jarboly when i was in elementary school we learned about a shape called a rhombus & that was the last time i ever heard about that shape ever again
  • 06
    Dana Angelo @Dana_Angelo Moving back in with my parents is how I finally achieved my lifelong dream of being an only child.
  • 07
    Dana Angelo @Dana_Angelo The best part of being an adult is eating as many cookies as you want. The worst part of being an adult is eating as many cookies as you want.
  • 08
    Dana Angelo @Dana_Angelo Every time I get ready to go out I mentally run through a list of people I hope I don't run into.
  • 09
    dev rob @devvvtheband I invented something called a "mental health bagel" which is when I buy myself a bagel if I feel bad or good about myself
  • 10
    pippinstook e Website: Enter new password. Gandalf, typing: Hobbits Website: Too short. Gandalf, shrugging: Yeah, yeah. I guess that's true.
  • 11
    Lane Moore @hellolanemoore no one ever tells you how often you'll whisper "righty tighty, lefty loosey" to yourself as an adult and they really should
  • 12
    Colleen @Coll3enG my mom and I were driving and I decided to call my grandma and my grandma was like "hey sweetie I can't talk right now, your mom's at my door" and i was like "grandma I'm driving with my mom right now" and my grandma just said "oh darn you caught me, I just don't want to talk" ***
  • 13
    nick @LouBegaVEVO this morning I got a drink from 7/11, and the cashier said "you could get two more if you wanted", and so I got two more because | thought she meant there was a promo. but there wasn't a promo, I just paid full price for three of the same drink. why did she do this?
  • 14
    tarotdaddy3 I don't want to make "doctor's appointments" and "schedule a follow up." I want to be coaxed gently into a crate and taken to the vet
  • 15
    Ali Kolbert @AliKolbert Me getting dressed: *puts on the same black yoga pants for the 8th day in a row* Me packing for vacation: I don't have room for this third ball gown I may need to check another bag
  • 16
    sappharah my skills include reading an entire page of an academic text without absorbing a single word
  • 17
    Bob Phillips @BobTheSuit Me: I have a paper cut. Universe: Excellent. I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.
  • 18
    Neve Palmer @neveepalmer Anyone else constantly talk in accents for no reason? Like u don't even realise ur doing it one minute am talkin normal then all of a sudden am Russian ?
  • 19
    JIM @longbhriste grating cheese is so fun until it starts getting scary
  • 20
    Caitlin Driscoll @TeacherOnTopic Today a first grader told me that she doesn't need to learn what I'm teaching because she wants to be a pineapple when she grows up.
  • 21
    HHH Jess Fink does not exist @JessFink Saw a tik tok where someone was complaining that their date was 30 yrs old and had glow in the dark stars on their ceiling and I have become enraged. You are never too old for glow in the dark stars. If you hate whimsy with all your heart, I don't think we can be friends
  • 22
    TechnicallyRon @TechnicallyRon IT IS FEBRUARY. THE NONSENSE MONTH. IS IT WINTER. NO. IS IT SPRING. NO. WHY IS IT COLD. MY SOCKS ARE WET. I CAN'T AFFORD ANYTHING. FEBRUARY.
  • 23
    JAEL @elle91 Sometimes I will do a very simple self-care thing like putting lotion on my hands before bed and be like "that was so easy, I will do this every day" and then forget that I even have hands for the next 6 years.
  • 24
    JuanPa @jpbrammer winter is just me asking my body "are you sick?" and my body being like "maybe ;)"
  • 25
    abrish @cxrnerrstone one side effect of adulthood that i was unprepared for is the fact that small talk about the weather is actually meaningful and unironic
  • 26
    Ginger @gingerbrigade1 I don't want to go outside again until the temperature is above my age.

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